Here's Why Santa is the Most Awkward Mythical Man Ever

Seriously, who thought a fat, bearded man who flies around in a sleigh and carries a big bag of who-knows-what was a good idea?

Santa shouldn't have quit his day job.
He's always watching.

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Even when he's wasted.

Submitted by: Barbara
Okay, maybe he's not watching ALL the time...

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He can be an emotional drunk.

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And he should stay off of Facebook.

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He also plays favorites.

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And kids shouldn't follow his example.
Or else they'll grow to look like this.

Submitted by: Iora Glass
Or this.
Or this.
Santa also enjoys taxidermy.

Submitted by: Unknown (via Reddit)

Or as I like to call it, "creative reindeer recycling."
Sometimes he can fly a bit too low.

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"Kid... you're making me real nervous."

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"I just... I dunno man. Like, what's the point of being so jolly all the time?"

Submitted by: Unknown (via Reddit)

Emo Santa has a sad.
A big, warm pile of Christmas!

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"RUDOLPH, GUIDE MY SLEIGH TONIGHT, DAMMIT!"

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"Santa's got some unpaid parking tickets for his sleigh..."

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Somebody was extra naughty this year.

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"I'm not even crying. We've passed that point on the terror scale."

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The spiked eggnog isn't the only thing Santa's hit too hard...

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Santa's feeling EXTRA jolly!

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But no matter how jolly he's feeling, keep your hands off his beard.

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OR ELSE!

Submitted by: Unknown (via The Spartan Warrior)
But he's still no match for Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Submitted by: Unknown (via Old School Wrestling)